Ladies, don't know how to break-up?

The following is Article 1 in a series of blogs titled "Dr. Dean's Advice." More to follow, so check back often.

Okay ladies, let's face it. Most of you are too sweet for your own good. The most common problem I notice in ladies is the difficulty they have in ending relationships.

Here's the prevalent scenario: girl and guy date for a certain period of time, usually not very long, and the girl realizes that he's not the one for her. He hasn't necessarily done anything wrong (in some cases he has, which is even more ridiculous for not breaking it off), so she doesn't want to be "mean" in being up front with him that it's over. She dances around the issue hoping that he will take the hint.

Here's the problem: males are meant to pursue. Males are the hunter, we're supposed to chase and try until we realize that it's not going to work. Coming to that realization is difficult because of games such as "playing hard to get" and the fact that when you thought you ended things, you didn't give any concrete reasons.
Guys take any open door -- any glimmer of a possibility -- to mean that there's still a chance. Guys are simple. We chase, we're rejected, we move on. Until we get that rejection we are going to chase. We're not quitters. That's wimpy.

The best thing that you ladies can do is be up front and honest. Guys respect that. This is NOT the time to list reasons -- those only lead to arguments. Simply state that it didn't work and that there's not a chance that you'll change your mind. He'll get over it, and he'll move on. If he's a stand up guy and you were friends before, he'll be able to be your friend again with time. But this is not something for you to worry about. He very well may choose to disassociate himself with you because it hurt, but that's okay too. You gave him a fighting shot like he deserved.

Look at it this way. You're not being "mean" is in turn unfair to him because he thinks there's still a chance. He's wasting his time, energy, and emotions on you holding onto that slim chance. If you truly END it when you know you should, he will recover much sooner because you've cut short the drawn-out misery.

Honesty is the best policy. Just like a can of worms that follows a lie, by not definitively telling a guy that it's over, you've got a mess on your hands. You know what the right thing to do is, you just don't know the gentlest way to go about doing it. When all is said and done, being blunt and honest is the best way of going about it. It will sting at first, but in the end, he will respect you.