conformity and camp

when i'm in nashville, i feel like a country boy. everyone's so proper and affluent and it's so important to have a facade of perfection. when i'm in the mountains, i feel like a city slicker. it's all about being rough and raw and getting dirty and working hard. it's amazing how natural it is for us to conform to our environments and those around us. i missed my guns when i was at camp, even though i haven't touched them since last year. i wanted a truck to navigate the rocky roads. i wanted a little green ticket with a trout stamp, a pole and some salmon eggs to try my luck with the rainbows. the bugs used to bother me in nashville, but i spent a night under the stars knocking off spiders and swatting mosquitoes feeling comfortable and relaxed. i've never been one to fit in with a clique though--i'm too much of a loner, too weird i guess.

my heart wasn't in camp this year. we had the youngest staff we've ever had. they did great, the kids stayed safe and had fun, but i felt like i had to do a lot of managing on my part. i didn't enjoy it like i usually do. it's time for me to pursue other things. i need to start grad school, buy a house, and basically settle down to make the nashville area home. the summer is going to be the best time for me to do those things. levoy seemed pretty sad when i told him this would be my last summer at winfield, but i think he understood. they've been so great to me and i know i'll miss it.