balto smokestack

game of hearts

"back home, kids play in the leaves in the park
she wants to play a game of hearts"
-ryan adams

wires

taught my perfect lesson on my second try today. it's all about what she was looking for, cause i don't think i did anything differently. oh well, that's why i do it, to learn.

waiting

i can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me so i can say, "this is the way that i used to be."
-john mayer

i guess i can say, "this is the way i used to be." i've come a long way in my 6 years out of high school. it's the relapses that'll just bring you down.

i'll be up all night since i'm deadline dependent when it comes to assignments.

out of service (balto)

blue, wrapped up

i haven't seen blue in 2 weeks. i hope the trainer's taking good care of him and the cold weather isn't bothering him. actually, the part i'm most worried about is how sensitive he is and how easy it is for him to get scared. i can't imagine what his first reaction to the shock collar was. oh well, it's all for the better and he's going to be amazing when i get him back. we'll spend his birthday at the lake and not worry about him running away or anything. i don't have time for him now with all this school work anyway.

balto abridged (no, really)

tuesday 4/5
after running around trying to get packed and everything ready to go, i picked up brett early evening to head to my grandparents' in austell so they could take us to the airport early wednesday morning. only one problem though... after we had driven through monticello and past the infamous bearlax laxative mural, i realized that i had left my registration information at my apartment, so we had to turn around and it added over an hour to our trip. we got to austell, caught up with the grandfolks, and went to bed fairly early. only one problem though... i was nervous about flying. i fell asleep at about 1:30 or so, and we woke up at 5:00 to be at the airport early enough to catch our 8:15 flight.

wednesday 4/6
i didn't feel as tired as i thought i would when i woke up at 5:00. i think it had to do with being really nervous, and still being confused with the time change that had happened only a few days ago. i managed to stomach some poptarts and enjoy the sunrise, and then we boarded the plane. i turned my ipod up loud, concentrated on breathing, and fought the lightheadedness and disorientation as we took off. i think it's safe to say i finally calmed down... after we landed.

we lucked out at the airport with baggage claim being a short walk from our concourse. from there it was another short walk to the shuttle and a short trip to the hotel. we couldn't check in yet, so we dropped off our bags and headed for the light rail. we came to love the light rail and the many colorful people we met on it. while we were waiting on it, some women, ranging in age from early 20s to closer to 40 walked up. when i travel i talk to strangers regularly, so i asked them if they were here for the cec conference. they said they were and that they were students at west georgia. i said, "good old carrolton." i think that scared them, so we told them we were from georgia college. they didn't believe us because they said "you don't talk like us," referring to their almost-alabama accents. they gave me their advisor's contact info, so we'll see if i can get her to get the students involved at the state level.

we checked in to the conference, went to eat with some girls from augusta state, and headed back to the hotel. after a short break we hopped back on the light rail to go hear patch adams speak. he's a very peculiar fellow. he's borderline communist, but in a good way, without the fascism. the parts that stood out to me about the talk were his mention of religion, and his interaction with a girl on one of his trips. the religion comment came after he said that he worshiped friendship and had never seen a need for religion in his life. then he said, "being a Christian means you're being Christ-like, not that you like Christ." i liked that a lot. the rest of his talk was about being your faith, whatever it may be. love is an action, not something you say.

he then showed a video clip of a little girl who was hunched over in a wheelchair. turns out she was completely capable physically of sitting up, but if everyone ignored her and avoided her all her life, why would she want to sit up. he was in his clown garb, so he approached her, invaded her space, and interacted with her until she smiled. the smile and laughter brought out drooling, and she was immediately embarrassed. he wiped her mouth with his arm. those are the moments i live for.

went to the cheesecake factory that night and ate some orange chicken. that stuff is heavenly.

thursday 4/7
we were supposed to go see dr. childre's poster presentation, but brett didn't wake me up. he claims he tried and i moaned in a way that said "leave me alone." whatever the case may be, i woke up, ate the complimentary hot breakfast alone, light railed it into baltimore and caught up with brett. dr. childre's session was coming to an end, so i managed to stop by and met a doctoral student she did the project with. turns out cindy went to georgia college a few years ago, and is now at the university of kansas where she does a lot of research. cindy is an amazing, driven young lady. she and brett hit it off and talked for hours over the days that we were there. she's going to get brett and i to review proposals for presentations at next year's conference because apparently dr. childre thinks we write well or something.

went to the expo thursday. holy cow. i've never seen so much education stuff in my life. we're talking football fields worth of stuff. i brought about 20 pounds of catalogs and brochures and other freebies home. went to the student forum that afternoon. we had small group discussions, some poster presentations, and watched sallie and dr. j present "how to get students involved" or something like that. some girls from a school in michigan led us in some teambuilding exercises and the national student board talked about what they do and asked us all to consider applying for it. dr. j nudged me and told me i'd be great at it. "yeah right," i've got enough on my plate already. went out to eat that night with some girls from uga-gwinnett, then caught up with the georgia college girls at the cheesecake factory.

after their dinner we headed back to our hotel, and on the way ran into the girls who are on the national student board. it's amazing how fast strangers can start up conversations when they have a common passion. brett talked to one of them about something or another, and 3 of them walked with me. we talked about school and teaching, and then they started convincing me to run for national board. it's one thing to have dr. j tell me i should do something, it's another to have cute girls who are giving me a lot of attention recommend i do something. they said the only traveling that they do is to the conference, the rest of the work is through telephone conferences. i think i'll give it a try. they need a guy's p.o.v. anyway.

friday 4/8
brett claims he set the alarm, but i never heard it. i woke him up after i got a shower. there was no way we'd make the early sessions we wanted to attend, so we took our time eating our free hot breakfast and caught the train. i saw some good talks, saw some bad talks. one of which made teachers squeal in excitement. that afternoon was sallie's award presentation, so we all went to show our support. the "yes i can" awards were also given during that ceremony, which consists of amazing children with disabilities from around the country. i almost cried, laughed a lot, and didn't stop smiling the whole time. that is what you live for. after the reception, the georgia college folks plus cindy went to a pizza place to eat. brett talked to cindy the entire time she was there (easily an hour and a half) about special ed stuff. we disappointed the seniors by not going to a bar with them (i got calls begging me to come later, didn't particularly enjoy them, you fill in the blanks). at this point in the week, brett and i were ridiculously fired up.

saturday 4/9
apparently "meet us at barnes and noble at 9 and we'll go to the aquarium" means "we'll get there after 9:30, eat breakfast and chat, and by the time we leave the bookstore, you'll have to go back to your hotel to pack and check out so you can make your 4 o'clock flight." i'm not bitter, but i know brett really wanted to see the national aquarium. the flight back was more of the same nervousness, but i did manage to calm down once we reached cruising altitude. can i just say that men who weigh more than 300 pounds whose thighs hang out of their seat should not be allowed to sit in coach?

balto pt. 4

dragons

so sad, brett never got to ride his dragon paddle boat.

today was an interesting day. everyone seemed to love my performance of "everyone poops" on guitar. my partner in crime was a girl who i've flirted with all semester and never done anything about it. well i finally asked her out today and got the most apathetic response i've ever gotten. usually it's a definite "yes" or "no," but this was a, "i'd like to, but i'm too busy." is that the same thing as "i have to wash my hair" or is that a genuine interest, and genuinely no time. oh well, guess i should have hit the hammer on the metal when it was hot.

i have to teach my "perfect" lesson for dr. j tomorrow... should be interesting with the group of kids that i've got.

balto can wait

i was going to post my baltimore trip wrap-up, but tonight's experience was just too powerful to put off. john wilson, the director of ld and adhd services at a camp in north carolina called soar came and spoke at a chadd (children and adults with adhd) meeting. everything he said either reaffirmed what i already thought or was a light bulb that went off that made me say to myself, "i've gotta try that."

after his inspiring talk was over, i went down to thank him. dr. j had told him i was interested in working at his camp, and he was very excited about the prospect of it. as tempting as it was, i had to tell him that i had obligations to camp winfield, and had given them a verbal confirmation that i would be there again this year. he was disappointed, but smiled and said, "i loved the questions you asked, you sound like you've got the right heart for this. keep doing what you're doing, and if you ever need anything from me, let me know."

he is what i aspire to be. he could be such a role model to me, but instead i think i'm going to see what kind of role model i can be at my camp, my school, my life.

"i once heard a teacher say, 'now's the time where he sinks or swims.' what good would drowning ever do?" (john wilson, paraphrased of course)

balto

back from baltimore. took a lot of pictures. enjoy.

sunrise in atlanta, wednesday.

boys and toys

did a quick photo shoot for a friend who needed headshots for a ballet group she's auditioning for. i never felt inspired, but i guess that's the point of a headshot, they aren't supposed to be exciting. i felt like one of those guys at olan mills with a squeaky toy and a remote trigger in his hand who squeezes the toy in the kids face then jumps out of the way of the camera just in time to get the smile from the kid. modeling must be hard as heck to do, and i'm not a very good coach at posing.

got a test back today. how in the world does the guy who explains the stuff to people do worse than they did on it? i guess it means i was a good teacher, but dang i sucked it up. part of the problem was in not reading/understanding what the question was asking. maybe that goes with having concentration issues during a test that took you over 2 hours to complete.

finally, i bought a new toy today. the people at apple have got incredible advertising and graphic design. as funny as i used to think it sounded to hear people say it, i agree with them: the ipod is sexy. i'm trying to figure it all out while ripping my cds and doing school work at the same time. i'm working all day tomorrow, no excuses. i've got too much to do.

i leave for baltimore in just a few days now. i'm excited, but not looking forward to it as much as i was originally. i guess if i get sick of it i can catch a train to d.c. and crash at sameer's pad.