void

i sit here writing this on a sunday morning. i don't remember the last time i went to church. i don't remember the last time i got in the word. i don't remember the last time i prayed more than 3 lines before falling asleep. school's put me in survival mode. i do the things that i have to do, (assignments, going to placement, going to class) but everything else falls off my plate. blue's bored out of his mind because i've been sick and haven't felt like taking him to the park. my power bill will probably be outrageous this month because all i've felt like doing is sitting in front of that stupid tv.

i'm not hopeless cause i know that i'll pull out of this. well, i know that God can pull me out of this. okay, i know that God will pull me out of this. it's just hard to find motivation sometimes i guess. i've been telling myself for weeks that i need to just get off my lazy butt and do something about it, but that's the thing about laziness, it's a habit, a disease. maybe i do have an addictive personality after all... naw, it's just time to indulge in something new: life.