songs that have changed my life

i love making mix cds, and i'm making this one for our school psychologist. these are the songs that have had the most impact on my life. a lot of them are depressing, but that's when i needed them most.

in autobiographical order:

1. dave matthews band "#41"
this song was the favorite of a girl i was crazy about in high school. her name was pam and i was definitely more into her than she was into me. it was one of the first dave songs i learned to play on guitar. we ended up working with the same amazing group of kids years later, and now we both teach special ed. the song speaks to me cause he's saying "i don't want to, but i've got to break things off." that's always so hard and i got so sick of it that i haven't committed to anything in about 2 years.

2. third eye blind "motorcycle drive-by"
it's a pretty song. i don't really relate to it on a personal level that much, but i definitely wore it out. this is another one that helped me learn to play guitar.

3. jump, little children "cathedrals"
i got into jump in the beginning of high school, but was never old enough to see their shows. this song blows my mind because jay clifford is such a wordsmith and can create such amazing visual images through words and music.

4. caedmon's call "somewhere north"
i always gravitated to the songs derek webb wrote for them because they were mostly about girls and girl problems. i get so much raw emotion when i hear/play this song.

5. bebo norman "where the angels sleep"
this is the recovering player's anthem. it's fit my life so many times it's scary.

6. oleander "how could i?"
this song hit me hard at the end of my longest relationship. it's the thought of "how in the world could i have expected to make her happy when my life was such a mess?"

7. incubus "i miss you"
when my longest relationship ended, it ended over the phone. i was camping with the family and had never felt so miserable in my life. i had 2 cds with me, and this song stayed on repeat. i left the camping trip early to move in with adam and cried all the way home.

8. lifehouse "everything"
i remember how excited i was to discover Christian music that spoke so strongly to me. jason wade did that. the line "how can i stand here with you and not be moved by you?" is one of the best lines in Christian music ever. on a trip to nashville about 5 years ago, i was climbing monteagle in the middle of a storm. when i reached the peak of the mountain, the sun broke through the clouds as the song got to the explosion in the chorus. there've been a few moments in my life when i felt like God was speaking directly to me, and that was one. i need to write a song about monteagle, because it's definitely a special place to me, and i'm sure it will continue to be as i drive between nashville and home.

9. shane barnard "take my love"
another huge song in my life. it's just saying "God, i'm not doing well on my own, take away all the distractions."

10. jeff buckley "lover, you should have come over"
no other song tells my life like it is. it's all the frustration and pain and selfishness and everything else that goes along with failing relationships and knowing it's your fault. i think every guy who's ever loved can relate to this song.

11. mindy smith "one moment more"
she wrote this about her mom dying of cancer. when i was first getting into her, i was dating a girl whose mom died when she was younger, and i cried every time i heard this song for about a month. mindy smith's voice does something to me. her new album comes out 10/10 and i can't wait.

12. u2 "sometimes you can't make it on your own"
it's about his dad, and i can definitely relate to having a relationship like that with my dad.

i wonder which songs will be next...